LI:To to write a letter to a friend and what would it be like if you went on a waka to NZ
from Mojtaba to Lukah
Once I went on a waka to NZ I was with a crew.I was nervous leaving my island behind and coming to NZ. We had a small waka. On our way we had big waves but lucky we had a great captain to guide us.At night we had turns sleeping and looking after the waka .It was a long journey we past lots of obstacles on our ways but were lucky.we finaly made it the wonderful countrie.
Hi Mojtaba,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you described how you felt nervous about the journey, it is always engaging when a piece of writing describes emotions and/or feelings because it becomes personal and authentic. Also, I can see that you have a good understanding about sailing as you mentioned the captain guidance and how you all took turns in the watch during the night. Next time on your final sentence you could perhaps consider to add a bit more of impact. Here is an example: 'We finally made it to the wonderful country we know call home that is New Zealand. '
Kia Kaha,
Patricia